Guy on a train. The train ride is a symbol of how/where his life is going. The man is going home (from his awesome job that he loves) to his wife and kids. His wife is horrible. Their son is a demon. The man will sit next to someone on the train and tell him all about it. You can tell that the man doesn’t want to go home, the train is going the opposite direction he wants it to, his life is going the opposite way he wants it to. The passenger will ask if the man ever considered leaving his wife? He admits that he has, but finds it safer to stay. She would take his house, all of his stuff, and he would have to pay alimony. “Even so,” advises the passenger, “it’s better than living a life you don’t want. You should do what makes you happy.” The train reaches the protagonist’s destination. He says goodbye too his new friend and gets off the train. His wife and demon child are waiting for him. She is being bossy and mean as ever,, and the child is being very obnoxious and disobedient. The protagonist makes his stand on the way to the parking lot. He tells her he’s leaving her. She gets very angry, takes her kid, and leaves screaming, “I’ll see you in court!” The man smiles as she leaves. He walks back to the ticket counter, and purchases his ticket to go back to work.
I'm also thinking the guy has some feelings for a co-worker that he has kept to himself for a while now, but at the end he will be happy and free to purue her. He will have nice things to say about her on the train ride.
I like how it sounds.
ReplyDeleteTrain rides + friendly, confessional encounters with strangers always mix well. Stick with it.
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea of the train conversation. I think having him actually confront the wife might be a little tricky to pull off, but you could allude to him possibly ending things without having to write that entire scene. Also, make sure the passenger feels real. Likely, he'd talk about his own life some too.
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